Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
About Deviant Member carcinoGeneticistMale/Unknown Recent Activity
Deviant for 3 Years
Needs Premium Membership
Statistics 66 Deviations 1,366 Comments 90,751 Pageviews

Webcam

HEY, ASSHOLES! WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKSPHINCTERS THOUGHT IT WAS A FUNNY IDEA TO HIDE ALL MY SOCKS? BECAUSE IT WASN'T FUNNY. SHUT YOUR MAW FOR A SECOND AND JUST LISTEN TO THE BEAUTEOUS SOUNDS OF THE COLD, DEAD VACUUM THAT IS SPACE. DO YOU HEAR THAT? THE SOUND OF NOBODY LAUGHING? I KNOW YOU'RE FUCKING BORED BUT JEGUS DICKING CHRIST. HIDING MY SOCKS? REALLY? *REALLY*? THAT'S WEAK. ABOUT AS WEAK AS THE SHITTY PRANKS IN JOHN'S SHITTY MOVIES. THIS PRANK IS ABOUT AS GOOD AS PISSING IN A CONTAINER OF APPLE JUICE AND PASSING IT OFF TO SOME OVERWEIGHT ADOLESCENT BULLY TO GULP DOWN BEFORE SPITTING IT OUT IN WHAT COULD ONLY ASSUMABLEY BE SUMMED UP WITH A BADLY DRAWN PORTRAIT AND A SHRIEK OF THE EXPLETIVE "BLUH".

IN FACT, YOU WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING? I AM SO *INCREDIBLY* NOT LAUGHING AT THIS JOKE, I'M NEGALAUGING. I'M LITERALLY THE POLAR NEGATIVE OPPOSITE OF LAUGHING. INSTEAD OF HA HA HA, I'M AH AH AHING. IS THAT WHAT YOU FUCKING WANTED, WHEN YOU WERE HATCHED? OH WAIT, OF COURSE! WHOEVER HID MY SOCKS WASN'T ACTUALLY HATCHED, AND INSTEAD CONGEALED AND CRAWLED OUT OF A GUTTER FULL OF NUCLEAR WASTE! SO-FUCKING-RRY, MY MISTAKE. I'M JUST *SOOOO* FORGETFUL SOMETIMES. SILLY KARKAT! MY PLUSH PINK RUMP DESERVES TO BE SPANKED LONG AND HARD WITH A CLOWN-SHAPED PADDLE WHILE I'M BENT OVER THE KNEE OF SOME BEAUTIFUL PERSON WHO PETS MY HAIR AND CALLS ME PRINCESS, THAT'S HOW NAUGHTILY FORGETFUL I AM.

...

...

...

...

UH, SO, UH, WHOEVER JUST RETURNED MY SOCKS BY DEFINITELY 100% HIDING THEM UNDER MY DIRTY LAUNDRY PILE, UH FUCK YOU. FOR TAKING THEM. THEY WERE TOTALLY STOLEN.



FUCK YOU GUYS 

deviantID

Karkat-Vantas
carcinoGeneticist


Your name is KARKAT VANTAS. Your purpose, if anything, is to lament the faults of your existence, of which there are assuredly plenty.

Equally plenty, and somewhat related to that topic, are your INTERESTS. You have a passion for RIDICULOUSLY TERRIBLE ROMANTIC MOVIES AND ROMCOMS. You should really be EMBARRASSED for liking this DREADFUL CINEMA, but for some reason you are not. You like to program computers, but you are NOTORIOUSLY PRETTY AWFUL AT IT. Your programs invariably damage the machines on which they are executed, which is just as well, since you like to believe you specialize in COMPUTER VIRUSES. When you mature, you aspire to join the ranks of the most lethal members of your society, the THRESHECUTIONERS. You like to practice with your REALLY COOL SICKLE, but just wind up looking like KIND OF A DOOFUS BY YOURSELF IN YOUR ROOM.

You like to chat with some of your other troll pals, most of which drive you BATSHIT UP THE FUCKING BELFRY. Your trolltag is carcinoGeneticist and you speak in a manner that is ALMOST EXCLUSIVELY ORNERY, ALL THE TIME.

AdCast - Ads from the Community

×

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconkitty-chanmeow:
kitty-chanmeow Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014
Happy fuckin birthday *blows on a noise maker*
Reply
:iconkarkat-vantas:
Karkat-Vantas Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2014
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS
Reply
:iconkitty-chanmeow:
kitty-chanmeow Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2014
Wriggling day whatever fuck it is *sighs* fuck it at least I tried
Reply
:iconmelpuppy123:
Melpuppy123 Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  New member Hobbyist Artist
Happy wriggling day karkat I hope you have lots of wriggling presents ;3
Reply
:iconhonk-mf-honk:
Honk-MF-Honk Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2014  Student Interface Designer
oH..sUp
Reply
:iconkarkat-vantas:
Karkat-Vantas Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2014
WHAT.
Reply
:iconhonk-mf-honk:
Honk-MF-Honk Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2014  Student Interface Designer

PSSST

Reply
:iconkarkat-vantas:
Karkat-Vantas Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2014
...WHAT.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconxxfire-the-foxxx:
xXFire-the-FoxXx Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Answer me You troll
Reply
Add a Comment: